Historic Agreement / Sul7a Signed

Loyal readers, I am pleased to inform you that KABOBfestWATCH and KABOBfest have formally agreed upon a "Sul7a" or peace agreement. Understandably, many of you may be shocked by this -- as KFW's sworn goal was the complete destruction of KABOBfest. Allow me to explain...

After being viciously attacked by a KABOBfest affiliate last month, I was surprised to receive a "get well" card and bouquet of lilies from uncircumcised KABOBfest founder Will -- signed by every member of KABOBfest (except NarcelX of course, because he's a big fat baby). The card read "Sorry" and had Pooh Bear on the front.

Long story short, I talked to my psychologist about the KFW episode and had a change of heart. Don't be surprised, I am human after all. I realize now that all I ever really wanted was to be appreciated by KABOBfest.

Thank you for all of your support, and please continue to read my posts on KABOBfest.

The terms of our Sul7a are below:

KABOBfest announces a historic peace deal with KABOBfestWATCH, ending the ancient conflict that began in March, 2008.

Programmer Buydatti (PB) will become one with KABOBfest (KF) again on the following agreed upon conditions:

1. PB will re-gain his autonomy as a sovereign, contiguous blogger on KABOBfest so long as he does not violate KF etiquette (yes it does exist), nor threaten the security of KF.

2. KABOBfestWATCH will remain, and be linked to KF, as a testament to the historic tragedy of PB's "forced-exile/ fleeing" from KABOBfest.

3. PB will not be compensated for loss of public stature for his public "terrorizing of/resisting against" KF. Nor wil he have the "right" to return any of his old posts we removed due to their vulgarity.

4. PB will retain his right to mock, humiliate, and hit on KF members at will, even if to the breaking point, thus causing KF members to quit in protest.

5. PB will have shared control of parts of the holy (web)sites in KF, but the final say will belong to KF's master-administrato rs.

6. No one shall mention PB's public crying episode when he "was-forcefully- exiled/fled" from KF. Ever.

7. PB shall retain some access rights to his apartment buildings water. rooftop, hallways, and doors, but KF will possess final authority over such areas.

8. PB will be allowed to hit on any commenters and KABOB3rses he chooses.

Sincerely,

PB

KABOBfest Henchman Attacks Me

Last night I was brutally attacked by a friend of Will's after refusing to take down KFW.

Though I don't know the culprit personally, I've met him before -- back when I used to write for KABOBfest. He goes by the name of Abed or "Wolf."

Upon leaving an event in the Chinatown area of the District of Columbia, I spotted "Wolf" standing outside a local adult DVD store. He instantly recognized me and began hurling racial comments my way.

Out sized, I did not answer and continued on my way. That's when the chase began.

Three blocks later I stopped to catch my breath and he pounced on me. He began to violently slap, punch, and even bite me. I screamed for help, but it was late and nobody was around to come to my aid.

The entire time I was being assaulted, he was threatening to kill me if I didn't take down KABOBfestWATCH. Here is a picture of one of my injuries -- a bite mark:



I have already filed a complaint with city police. I will continue to update our viewers as more information becomes available. Please pray for me.

UPDATE: I discovered four more scratches on my back. More evidence of the violent fanatics that comprise KABOBfest.

1 KABOBer Down, 14 To Go

NarcelX had a hissy fit and quit KABOBfest today. Apparently, he didn't appreciate my commentary on his post "Saudi Jarabia." But, to be fair, he also cited his inability to hold his own in debates with KABOBfest's critics for his departure. Will published a statement earlier today: Narcel X's Resignation.

Ironically, NarcelX titled his tell-all expose', "Kabobfest Down." Funny, his posts brought the site down and then he left -- which helps me fulfill my goal of bringing KABOBfest Down.

KFW 1: KF 0

DID HELL JUST FREEZE OVER?

I actually agree with a KABOBfest! Diana's most recent post, "On Politics & Prose," is FANTASTIC! Oh... wait... something just dripped on my head. Oh damn, it's water. Must be the ice melting... CAUSE KABOBfest DIDN'T WRITE IT!

Anyway, the post -- which is actually an op-ed by UCLA professor Saree Makdisi -- discusses how destructive the stifling of conversation surrounding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can be.

Apparently KABOBfest now believes in freedom of speech and honoring all points of view.

But wait. Wasn't Will's alleged reason for booting me from KABOBfest because he thought I crossed the line with one of my posts? HYPOCRITES!!

Will: Allah Comes Second to Government

And he calls himself a real Muslim! His latest post, "Get Your 2008 Commemorative Iraq Jesus Coin," reads...

And Muslims publics will still disappoint, with their greater empathy for religious issues and symbols than for the human suffering involved. They will riot over cartoons before taking to the streets against their governments.

Advice for Will: Get your penis circumcised before issuing blasphemous fatwas - you kaffir!

KABOBfest Insults Jewish Solidarity Activists

As if progressive leftist Jews don't catch enough heat from the Jewish community for supporting justice for Palestinians, KABOBfest had to slap them in the face with the "sell out" card today.

In KABOBfest's most recent poll, "Readers Respond: Sugarman is a Hot Yahoodi Stud," Will labels the blog's token Jew, Chaim Sugarman, a "Pro-Arab Sell-Out." Even worse, 17% of KABOBfest's racist readership agrees with him!

No doubt the poll has left countless Jewish solidarity activists insulted. Even Chaim Sugarman took issue with the poll:

This is a new all-time low for the fest. In addition to poisoning people's minds with their immature diatribes on the Arab world, they're now causing actual damage to the Palestinian struggle.

And the bigotry doesn't end there. Fadi, KABOBfest's self-hating Palestinian Christian blogger, follows the KABOBpoll with a post entitled "Self-Hating Jews." As far as I'm concerned, KABOBfest = anti-Semitism.

Fear Not Folks: Buydatti is BACK!

Loyal readers: my apologies for this blog's inactivity. As the previous post stated, I had come down with a horrible KABOBfest-induced stomach ailment that put me out of commission for quite some time. Although I can't prove it, I'm almost certain that the culprit was Will's girlfriend, who must've offered me a drink laced with diuretics at a community gathering last week.

Regardless, I'm back -- and, as promised, with vengeance. Although I'd like to go back and comment on every KABOBfest post published in my absence, I really don't have the time. Nonetheless, you can assume that little has changed over at the fest...

• Emily's posts are still boring and hardly worth a skim
• Like oh my God! Maytha still thinks in run-on sentences
• Fayyad still can't spell
• Fadi still hates Hillary Clinton and is doing a horrible job of mocking her
• Tarik still has no idea how to format a post
• Mohammad is still only 2 posts shy of being a full blown terrorist
• Quiqui is still hanging on Hugo Chavez's nuts (despite the fact that she's an Anarchist and he runs a state)
• And, KABOBpolls still prove that KABOBfest's readership aren't that bright

I'll now resume my mission of exposing them for the fools that they are! DOWN WITH KABOBfest!!

KABOBfest: Caught in a Lie

Earlier, I exposed Emily for posting vile pornography on KABOBfest and harassing me with prank phone calls. I also exposed Will for censoring Emily (though KABOBfest claims to be an "unedited forum") and allowing her to continue posting (though I was supposedly booted from the fest for a much lesser offense).

Their defense? Emily claims to have not posted the offensive photo:

**TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT:
1) My original picture was the girl and donkey.
2) That chicken poop picture is disgusting.
3) I put the donkey in the air image after finding said chicken poop picture this morning.
4) Retribution will be swift and merciless.

And Will claims to know nothing of the whole debacle:

OK...

I just visited KFW and saw the objectionable picture. freaking disgusting.

And I thought everyone was pissed because of the pic I saw... The one with the cute kid.

I have no idea what is going on. Emily, does PB have your sign in info?

Any clue how this happened?

I'm sorry folks. I had no clue that happened.

Will

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Emily is passing the blame onto someone else, while Will is playing dumb. They don't even have the nerve to come clean. That's how much they respect their readers.

CAN I PROVE THEY'RE LYING? Yes. Emily's chronological order of events don't add up. She claims that the original photo was of the little girl, then the pornographic photo went up, and then she changed it to the donkey in the air picture. However, anyone who read KABOBfest last night and this morning can attest to the fact that the first photo up was the pornographic one, then it was changed to the little girl. Later this morning it was changed again -- to the donkey in the air.

Clearly Emily is lying to save her skin and continue blogging for KABOBfest.

By the way, the only two contributors to KABOBfest with administrator rights (censor/edit privileges) are Will and Quiqui. I know Quiqui didn't do it because she's a crazed out anti-American anarchist who doesn't believe in censorship... because that's a type of authority that only "the white man" wields.

KABOBfest Displays Weakness: Harasses Critics

This afternoon I received a phone call from a cellular phone number that I didn't recognize. When I picked up, all I heard was the recorded sound of a donkey yelping: Heeeeehaaaaaw Heeeeehaaaaaw....

Wait a second, my phone just rang and it happened AGAIN!

As I type, I'm being harassed by someone who apparently doesn't know how to block Caller ID. The phone number's area code is 937, Dayton Ohio. Coincidentally, Emily -- KABOBfest's token white girl -- is originally from there. Though she currently lives in Occupied Palestine, an unnamed source has informed me that she uses Vonage, which allows for her to place phone calls from overseas with local area codes.

No doubt she's harassing me because I recently exposed a KABOBfest cover up in which she, Will, and vile pornography were involved.

This, folks, is KABOBfest at its highest level of maturity. Disgraceful!

Note: I've decided to not publish the complete phone number
because I'm reporting this harassment to the proper authorities.

NSFW: KABOBfest Censors Emily, Proves Will Lies

KABOBfest brags that it's "an unedited forum for Arab-Americans and friends," but censors Emily's most recent post: "Why Inviting Someone to a Conference is An Assy Thing to Do... In Palestine"

While her post currently features the following feel-good photo, that wasn't always the case...

The original (and highly disgusting) original photo is below. As one commenter noted, "This is probably the lowest kabobfest has stooped for a post."

And KABOBfest supposedly banned me for being too graphic in my posts? I would have never posted anything this disgraceful! If Emily isn't immediately removed from KABOBfest, then you'll know Will's story for firing me was BULLSHIT! The truth is finally revealed... Will lied and KABOBfest censors!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE: Will changed the picture once more. I think he's trying to alter history in an attempt to make me seem like a liar. I won't let that happen. Continue reading KFW for more on Will's immature, mindless head games. Here's the new picture:

DOWN WITH KABOBFEST!!

Hey KABOBfest, Learn to Use a Dictionary

"Is this Racist?" -- Will's recent post, asks the KABOBcommunity to ponder the question of whether or not anti-Islamic propaganda is "racist."

For the record, Princeton University defines the word "racism" as "the prejudice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races" and "discriminatory or abusive behavior towards members of another race."

Seeing as Islam is a religion -- AND NOT A RACE -- I would say: "No. Technically anti-Islamic propaganda is not racism." Jeez Will, brush up on your vocabulary.

By the way, has anyone else noticed that KABOBfest has turned into WILLfest as of late?

KABOBfest Embraces Revisionism

In "He Said, She Said" -- which, by the way, is barely a post, Will asks:

[I]f convicted felons cannot vote in many states, how is it that America elects so many criminals to high office?

Simple answer:

HEY DUMBASS! There hasn't been a single instance in all of U.S. history where a convicted felon was elected to high office. What an idiot!

Actually Will, Charlie Rose Wasn't Beat Up!

In "Sinan Antoon Breaks it Down on Charlie Rose," Will lies to KABOBfest's readership by claiming: "Someone beat Rose's ass before the show, it seems." He's referring to Charlie Rose's black eye and bandage.

As usual, Will is lying. A simple Google search reveals:

Charlie Rose's black eye and forehead injury are not from an interview subject fed up with Rose's incessant talking. It's actually from his valiant attempt to save his precious MacBook Air!

TechCrunch found out Rose tripped on a 59th Street pothole: "He was carrying a newly purchased MacBook Air and made a quick (but ultimately flawed) decision while falling: sacrifice the face, protect the computer." Producers said, "In doing so, he pretty much hit the pavement face first, unfortunately...The Macbook Air is fine, he showed us the blood stains on it this morning.” MORE

When will KABOBfest's lies end?

KABOBfest Supports the Attackers of 9-11

Will supports African-American militants and al-Qaida in a single post. This is so atrocious it needs no commentary. Read "Smif-N-Wessun Politicking" -- but be warned, the music video is horrible and racist.

KABOBfest's Krappy Photoshop

What happened to the good old days when KABOBfest would post photoshopped art that looked like it actually took more than 3 seconds and required at least a third grade education in art to make?

Bad grammar aside, Will's latest post, "Love at First State," isn't that bad -- that is, until you take a look at the horrible crap he tries passing off for funny art. COME ON! Their lips aren't even touching...

He probably used Microsoft Paint. Only the best for KABOBfest's readership I suppose.

KABOBfest Breaches American National Security

In "Memo to the U.S. Army," Casio-keyboard-obsessed Canadian blogger Will reveals that KABOBfest's token Jewish investigator, Chaim Sugarman, has produced a "secret 43 page memo to the Army, outlining suggestions for recruiting more Arabs." He then proceeds to commit treason by leaking the top six classified suggestions. The patriot that I am, I confronted Will about his disloyalty to America. This was our exchange:

First, I said:

Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:05:41
From: Programmer Buydatti
To: Will
Subject: Memo to the U.S. Army

Will. How dare you release secret classified information on KABOBfest? Who the hell do you think you are? National Security isn't a game. Take it down immediately!

- PB

Then he said:

Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:25:03
From: Will
To: Programmer Buydatti
Subject: Re: Memo to the U.S. Army

What are you stupid? Relax.

Will

I responded with:

Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:15:35
From: Programmer Buydatti
To: Will
Subject: Re: Memo to the U.S. Army

Don't tell me to relax you son of a bitch! Even if you think America is "the great Satan," you can't go publishing secret information just because you have access to it. How would you like if I ratted you out to the FBI?

- PB

And this was his response:

Date: Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:07:10
From: Will
To: Programmer Buydatti
Subject: Re: Memo to the U.S. Army

Yeah... you do that.

Will

There you have it folks, solid evidence that KABOBfest doesn't give a hoot about American National Security. Join in my fight to bring KABOBfest down!

*We'll set up a paypal account soon so that you can send us donations.

KABOBfest Insults the Prophet

KABOBfest believes comparing the Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H.) to Manuel Noriega is funny...

Yes, Manuel Noriega -- as in the Panamanian dictator, CIA operative, Cuban spy, P.O.W., drug trafficker, money launderer, racketeer-er, convicted felon, and abuser of human rights.

Don't believe me? Read Will's latest post: "Awkwardness in Arabic Class IV."

It's more blasphemous than those crazy Danish cartoons! KABOBfest should be burned to the ground! Seriously, and if the internet was flammable, I'd do it myself too!

KABOBfest Discriminates Against the Handicapped

The folks over at KABOBfest would argue that ridiculing a person for his or her race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation is wrong -- well, at least that's what they'd like you to believe. In reality, they're not as progressive as they seem. For example, last Thursday I exposed Will -- the blog's Anglo founder -- for racially profiling a Muslim (maybe even an Arab!). Today, it's more of the same...

KABOBfest's recent poll, Where are Abu Mazen's Balls?, ridicules men born without testicles. Even worse, 76 KABOBfest readers joined in on the joke -- with 31% deciding Cryptorchidism is a funny testicular deformity. Apparently, the KABOBfest community believes in selective discrimination.

No doubt, KABOBfest would find the following insensitive video humorous:



The uncircumcised discriminating against the testicle-less. How hypocritical... typical KABOBfest fashion I suppose.

KABOBfest Endorses Haram Snack

As if racially profiling Muslims wasn’t bad enough, KABOBfest added insult to injury today when it officially endorsed Cool Ranch Doritos – a snack forbidden by Shariah for its alcohol content.

That’s right, alcohol! According to a recent article by the Daily Mail:

Furious Muslims have heavily criticised Walkers crisps [which produces Doritos] after it emerged that certain varieties of the manufacturer's products contain trace elements of alcohol.

Some crisp types use minute amounts of alcohol as a chemical agent to extract certain flavours. […]

Masood Khawaja, of the Halal Food Authority, said that this was not the first time the issue had been raised with Walkers. "They should have looked into the matter and solved it instead of hiding behind labelling regulations. It does not matter what percentage of alcohol is involved.

And which of the KABOBers do you think made this offensive endorsement? Will of course! After all, he's not circumcised and therefore can't be a real Muslim anyway. Snack Strong, Will. Snack Strong!

KABOBfest Racially Profiles Muslim (Maybe Arab)

Despite what the folks over at KABOBfest would like you to believe, even they're not above racially profiling Arabs and Muslims.

Will -- the blog's 33.3% Canadian / 33.3% foreskin / 33.3% Arab founder -- published a post entitled "Muslim Connection to NYC Explosion?" today. In it, he accuses Mohammed Hossain, "a Muslim, possibly Arab" coffee cart owner, of carrying out this morning's attack on an Armed Forces Career Center in Times Square. Without a shred of evidence, he even goes so far as to recommend that Hossain be tortured via "waterboarding in Guantanamo."

Our readers should know that after discovering this KABOBigotry, I sent my Uncle Baheej to Hossain's coffee cart to urge him to sue KABOBfest for libel. Though 3ami Baheej owns a 7-11 in NYC, he once moonlighted as lawyer in Oman. From what Baheej tells me, Hossain has a "fery bowerful case." I will publish updates as they become available.