Historic Agreement / Sul7a Signed

Loyal readers, I am pleased to inform you that KABOBfestWATCH and KABOBfest have formally agreed upon a "Sul7a" or peace agreement. Understandably, many of you may be shocked by this -- as KFW's sworn goal was the complete destruction of KABOBfest. Allow me to explain...

After being viciously attacked by a KABOBfest affiliate last month, I was surprised to receive a "get well" card and bouquet of lilies from uncircumcised KABOBfest founder Will -- signed by every member of KABOBfest (except NarcelX of course, because he's a big fat baby). The card read "Sorry" and had Pooh Bear on the front.

Long story short, I talked to my psychologist about the KFW episode and had a change of heart. Don't be surprised, I am human after all. I realize now that all I ever really wanted was to be appreciated by KABOBfest.

Thank you for all of your support, and please continue to read my posts on KABOBfest.

The terms of our Sul7a are below:

KABOBfest announces a historic peace deal with KABOBfestWATCH, ending the ancient conflict that began in March, 2008.

Programmer Buydatti (PB) will become one with KABOBfest (KF) again on the following agreed upon conditions:

1. PB will re-gain his autonomy as a sovereign, contiguous blogger on KABOBfest so long as he does not violate KF etiquette (yes it does exist), nor threaten the security of KF.

2. KABOBfestWATCH will remain, and be linked to KF, as a testament to the historic tragedy of PB's "forced-exile/ fleeing" from KABOBfest.

3. PB will not be compensated for loss of public stature for his public "terrorizing of/resisting against" KF. Nor wil he have the "right" to return any of his old posts we removed due to their vulgarity.

4. PB will retain his right to mock, humiliate, and hit on KF members at will, even if to the breaking point, thus causing KF members to quit in protest.

5. PB will have shared control of parts of the holy (web)sites in KF, but the final say will belong to KF's master-administrato rs.

6. No one shall mention PB's public crying episode when he "was-forcefully- exiled/fled" from KF. Ever.

7. PB shall retain some access rights to his apartment buildings water. rooftop, hallways, and doors, but KF will possess final authority over such areas.

8. PB will be allowed to hit on any commenters and KABOB3rses he chooses.

Sincerely,

PB

KABOBfest Henchman Attacks Me

Last night I was brutally attacked by a friend of Will's after refusing to take down KFW.

Though I don't know the culprit personally, I've met him before -- back when I used to write for KABOBfest. He goes by the name of Abed or "Wolf."

Upon leaving an event in the Chinatown area of the District of Columbia, I spotted "Wolf" standing outside a local adult DVD store. He instantly recognized me and began hurling racial comments my way.

Out sized, I did not answer and continued on my way. That's when the chase began.

Three blocks later I stopped to catch my breath and he pounced on me. He began to violently slap, punch, and even bite me. I screamed for help, but it was late and nobody was around to come to my aid.

The entire time I was being assaulted, he was threatening to kill me if I didn't take down KABOBfestWATCH. Here is a picture of one of my injuries -- a bite mark:



I have already filed a complaint with city police. I will continue to update our viewers as more information becomes available. Please pray for me.

UPDATE: I discovered four more scratches on my back. More evidence of the violent fanatics that comprise KABOBfest.

KABOBfest FORGES Photograph

In a post entitled, "The most underreported story in the Iran photoshop fiasco," QuiQui -- along with KABOBfest's self-hating token Jew-boy Chaim Sugarman -- try to pass the following photograph as REAL:

Unfortunately for them, KFW has uncovered the actual photo -- which doesn't feature a perverted Ahmadinejad at all! Check it out...

There you have it folks, another example of KABOBfest "Pallywood" propoganda!

1 KABOBer Down, 14 To Go

NarcelX had a hissy fit and quit KABOBfest today. Apparently, he didn't appreciate my commentary on his post "Saudi Jarabia." But, to be fair, he also cited his inability to hold his own in debates with KABOBfest's critics for his departure. Will published a statement earlier today: Narcel X's Resignation.

Ironically, NarcelX titled his tell-all expose', "Kabobfest Down." Funny, his posts brought the site down and then he left -- which helps me fulfill my goal of bringing KABOBfest Down.

KFW 1: KF 0

BREAKING NEWS: Planes Crash into WTC

I'm in shock. I can't believe this is happening. I'll post more as information becomes available...



Oh, my bad! I thought this happened recently. At least that's what TARIK told me.

Can you believe that stupid ass actually thinks McCain's "bomb Iran" comment was made recently? Yes, KABOBfest is THAT bad.

NarcelX is a Fucking Idiot

Who's fluent in ebonics?

Ayo b wut da dilly ferilly yo cause i'm so mac-atackin like i gotta be on da real cause da 411 on dat Saudi spliff is dat dose motha truckin wahabi huggin beefcake pantyhose be breakin g to da r.o.u.n.d to build a wall smack dab between my homies in the ROCK (aka: I-raq, Sunni attack, Smack Dat, Bring Saddam Back) and da K-S-A. Are you ferSerious? Is da troof and I ain't jerkin ya. Can you wrap yo dome around dat conceptually motha fucka? Its like, dose wiggity wiggity whack wankstas be supportin all aspects of da war and shit and den all of a sudden dey all actin like its a problem for dem? SHHIIIIIT SON! DAs so l.a.m.e. Mofos betta back da fuck up befo day get smacked da fuck up. Damn I wish Tupac was alive. He'd fly to Jeddah and role on dem suckas!

Confused? So were we when we read NarcelX's recent post, "Saudi Jarabia." The idiot has absolutely no grasp of the English language. In fact, it's worse than Fayyad's -- and he's foreign!

No doubt about it, NarcelX signifies the downfall of KABOBfest. What the heck were they thinking? Recruiting gangster-wannabes to give witty political analysis... They might as well have hired DMX's crackhead ass to do the job.

KABOBfest Doesn't Support Peace

How else do you explain (1) Fadi mocking Palestinians for negotiating with Israelis, and (2) NarcelX mocking Jews for negotiating with Persians?

Other than negotiation, the only other solution to the Mid-East's turmoil is a military one. It is, then, fair to assume that KABOBfest supports war and is anti-peace. Makes one wonder what kind of "activists" they really are...

Maytha, the Anthropologist

Yes folks. She recently graduated from a prestegious university with a graduate-level degree in Anthropology. And this is what she learned to do...

Think up a gross lie. Write it on a t-shirt with lipstick. Put it on, along with booty-cut shorts that show off her giant Syrian ass. And wonder why more people stare at her ass then the shirt.

I'm not lying. She actually thinks this was a worthwhile experiment. I, however, can't -- for the life of me -- find the experiment in it.

Seems to me like an immature girl with a daddy complex just wanted some attention from boys... and, thinks she's smart. It's both sad and hilarious at the same time!

The KABOBfest - Al-Qaeda Connection

Despite having exposed Fadi's sympathy for terrorism numerous times, fans of KABOBfest continue to come to his defense -- claiming that sympathy for Hamas' cause is not the same as endorsing their violent tactics or resistance.

Fine. Although I disagree, I admit that they could argue this point with relative success. But I dare them to argue this...

According to a 6-11-08 report by the AFP:

AIN AL-HELWEH, Lebanon (AFP) - A gunman was wounded in a shootout with Lebanese soldiers on Wednesday near the Palestinian refugee camp of Ain al-Helweh in south Lebanon, an army spokesman said. [...]

The incident occurred when three unidentified assailants opened fire on the soldiers as they tried to force an army checkpoint outside the camp, near the southern port city of Sidon, the spokesman told AFP.

The soldiers returned fire wounding one gunman, Issa Qiblawi, he said, adding that a second one was arrested while the third fled. [...]

The Palestinian official from Ain al-Helweh said the three assailants were members of the Islamic grouping Jund al-Sham and Issa Qiblawi was the brother of Sheikh Qiblawi, killed in 2004 in Iraq while fighting for Al-Qaeda. [...]

Members of extremist groups believed to have links with Al-Qaeda have settled in Lebanon's Palestinian refugee camps in recent years, especially in Ain al-Helweh, which is partly controlled by Jund al-Sham.

Allow me to simplify it for you: there is only one Qiblawi family in all of Palestine, and they're all related -- regardles of whether it's spelled Qiblawi, Kiblawi, Kablowi, Can You Blow Me, or Keblawi. Interestingly, that also happens to be Fadi's last name.

So Fadi not only supports terrorism, but also has family members in Al-Qaeda.

Fadi writes for KABOBfest -- thus, KABOBfest is associated with Al-Qaeda.

DOWN WITH KABOBFEST! DOWN WITH TERRORISTS!

DID HELL JUST FREEZE OVER?

I actually agree with a KABOBfest! Diana's most recent post, "On Politics & Prose," is FANTASTIC! Oh... wait... something just dripped on my head. Oh damn, it's water. Must be the ice melting... CAUSE KABOBfest DIDN'T WRITE IT!

Anyway, the post -- which is actually an op-ed by UCLA professor Saree Makdisi -- discusses how destructive the stifling of conversation surrounding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can be.

Apparently KABOBfest now believes in freedom of speech and honoring all points of view.

But wait. Wasn't Will's alleged reason for booting me from KABOBfest because he thought I crossed the line with one of my posts? HYPOCRITES!!

Reason #12,033,343,343,01 why Quiqui is an IDIOT!

In typical psycho-anarcho fashion, Quiqui rants about all the negative aspects of capitalism in her most recent post, "Reason #12,033,343,343,01 why capitalism sucks." And, as usual, ignores all the positive attributes of the system -- AND -- fails to provide a viable alternative.

Never mind the fact that blogger wouldn't exist if it weren't for capitalism (neither would KABOBfest -- because there wouldn't be an Internet to host her cyber brainfarts).

Oh, and she wouldn't be able to buy all those wonderful anarchist/marxist bullshit books she reads because no publishing or distribution companies would exist. Except for one's run by the state... but she doesn't believe in states.

And she'd probably have to give up that really cute armpit stained dress of hers, because why would stores exist to sell clothes if they couldn't profit from the sales? Cause they felt like it? Because selling dresses makes them feel good? Idiot.

Oh, and she'd have no computer to post her anti-American propaganda from.

She'd have to give up traveling the world by plane (build a raft dumb ass), stop shopping at Whole Foods, and quit searching for really great salsa CDs.

Why? Because she doesn't believe in capitalism... which, coincidentally, makes her advantaged lifestyle possible.

Blah blah blah it results in inequality. There was inequality before capitalism! No system can erase that because humans are naturally self-interested. It's a dog-eat-dog world. Your idealism is as juvenile as believing in Santa Clause.

Anarchism. Anarchism. ANARCHISM? If you're so anti-state, stop attending a state school.

Quiqui is soooOOOOOooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooooOOOOO DUMB!!

KABOBfest Celebrates Token Jew

When Nimr isn't busy posting crap videos of crap music, he occupies his time token-izing Jews...

Houda Nonoo, who has been appointed as the new Bahraini ambassador to the US. Nonoo is remarkable not only for being the first woman ambassador from the kingdom to the US, but because she hails from the country's small Jewish community. Most of the Jewish Bahrainis trace their ancestry to either Iraq or India, but have been in Bahrain for generations. Once again, with all the problems with the Gulf region, this is yet another sign of movement in a positive direction.

Then again, what would you expect from a blog that exploits its lone Jewish contributor, Chaim Sugarman, at every possible opportunity? I suppose Bahrain is super progressive now, right Nimr? For a political pundit, you sure have a hard time recognizing when a regime is WAGGING THE DOG!

Will: Allah Comes Second to Government

And he calls himself a real Muslim! His latest post, "Get Your 2008 Commemorative Iraq Jesus Coin," reads...

And Muslims publics will still disappoint, with their greater empathy for religious issues and symbols than for the human suffering involved. They will riot over cartoons before taking to the streets against their governments.

Advice for Will: Get your penis circumcised before issuing blasphemous fatwas - you kaffir!

Those Sneaky KABOBastards...

... are exploiting the whole Rachael Ray-Dunkin Donuts kuffiyeh fiasco to attract more site visits to their anti-Semitic propaganda machine. They've posted on the issue 1, 2, 3 times in a matter of four days. They were even linked by the Huffington Post -- but were thankfully removed after two days. Now, they're misleading YouTube's audience by registering their sick Islamo-fashion mockumentary as a video response to the whole Dunkin Donuts controversy!

I urge KFW's legion of followers to inundate the comments section of their mockumentary with posts exposing them for the fifth columns that they truly are!

Fadi Admits He's a Terrorist!

KFW has exposed Fadi's Facebook antics before, but we've yet to come across anything quite like this: Fadi, KABOBfest's very own suicide bomber in training, recently edited his Facebook profile to admit that he spends his time "indoctrinating people" with his "radical politics." Don't believe us? Check out this screen shot...

There you have it folks -- a solid, indisputable admission of guilt. Fadi is a FIFTH COLUMN and KABOBfest is his means to OUR END! Down with KABOBfest Now!

9-11: An American Conspiracy?

Osama bin Laden admits that he masterminded the tragedy, but Maytha, KABOBfest's resident Holocaust denier, still thinks its cool to blame it on America. She recently posted the following picture...


Inside sources reveal that she's also a firm believer in the anti-Semitic lie that 6,000 Jews didn't show up for work at the Twin Towers on 9-11. It figures she's Syrian.

Anyone else hear those crickets chirping?

Apparently nothing significant has happened in the Arab World since Tuesday. Seriously, nothing.

HELLO NIMR: The Polisario Front - the movement demanding independence for Western Sahara - is celebrating its 35th anniversary! (Quit beating off and post about it!)

You got to love KABOBfest's consistency... half the bloggers don't blog, and those that do only contribute once in a blue moon. With coverage like this I may not need another KFW blogger after all.

Write your own caption

Seeing as Quiqui is into posting candid pictures of people and then proceeding to mock them, KFW thought it would do the same with this wonderfully moist photograph of her and Fayyad dancing...


Fayyad: "Hey baby, am I making you wet?"

Quiqui: "Oh Fayyad, let me tweak those nipples!"


[Tarboush tip: secret KABOBfest inside source]

Inspired by Nimr...

KABOBfestWATCH has travelled the globe near and far to bring its readers another pointless video of some stupid idiot playing percussion on a really lame instrument for no particular reason other than because we like to waste your precious time with dumb fucking shit:



Thanks Nimr. Your posts are really interesting and engaging! Keep up the fantastic work! (dork)

KFW BLOGGER WANTED

It appears that the school semester has ended because KABOBfest has been posting nonstop for the past couple of days. As such, I'm finding it terribly difficult to balance work & life with pointing out all the inaccuracies and falsehoods in their posts. Therefore, I'd like to recruit another KFW blogger to lessen the burden on me.

Qualifications: knowledge of Arab-related issues, superb writing & copy editing skills, and unwavering dedication to the truth. Photoshop skills a plus.

If any of this blog's loyal readers are interested in joining my revolution against the KABOBfest propaganda machine, please send a letter of interest to Buydatti@Gmail.com.

DOWN WITH KABOBfest!